Robert Lindsay

[DB7]

My painful battle with depression: Robert Lindsay reveals therapy made him a better husband and father

By Kate Bussmann

Last updated at 1:41 PM on 21st October 2011
A depressive for most of his life, the My Family star is also susceptible to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which descends during the grey months of winter.

Astonishingly, the special glasses he wears have made all the difference. ‘The lenses are yellow: they make everything look lighter,’ he says. ‘They really do work.’
Not all a bed of roses: Robert Lindsay reveals all about his painful battle with depression

Not all a bed of roses: Actor Robert Lindsay reveals all about his painful battle with depression

He began wearing them, after abandoning anti-depressants, to cope with the unhappiness that dogged him for years. A course of therapy also helped; as has his decision to stop worrying so much about his career.

He takes life a lot more easily these days. For a start, he doesn’t have the pressure of My Family, having just ended an 11-year stint as grouchy dentist Ben Harper opposite Zoe Wanamaker who played his wife.


The irony isn’t lost on him. Twenty-five years ago, he came close to being the most famous spy of them all, auditioning for the role of James Bond.

The Living Daylights was all ready to roll but with no leading man in place.

Lindsay was a major candidate in the studio’s eyes - they called him back four times, and for one screen test he had to wear a tuxedo.

At the last minute the role went to Timothy Dalton. But Lindsay, 61, took it in his stride.

‘My trouble was, I couldn’t take James Bond seriously enough,’ he says. ‘I did well in the auditions, but as the final decision got closer, I realised I’d never been a Bond fan - you always know he’s going to get away. I prefer Jason Bourne, from The Bourne Identity. He’s been trained to kill, but doesn’t know why. It’s such a great concept.

‘But I believe that if things don’t work out, it’s for a reason, so I had no regrets.’
Happy: Robert Lindsay pictured with his wife, Rosemarie and their sons, Samuel, right, and James, left believes therapy has helped him massively

Happy: Robert Lindsay pictured with his wife, Rosemarie and their sons, Samuel, right, and James, left believes therapy has helped him massively

In Spy, he is known simply as The Examiner, and the comedy kicks in when he accidentally recruits Tim (Green Wing’s Darren Boyd), a bumbling single dad in a dead-end job, into MI5.

‘There’s no comparison between The Examiner and James Bond,’ laughs Lindsay. ‘He’s short on sophistication and big on clumsiness. He doesn’t pack a Walther PPK like 007. Instead, his favourite weapon is a ninja star, which he throws at someone every few minutes.’

When he reported for his first day on set, Lindsay was taken to one side to be taught how to throw one. ‘But I’d already learned how to do it - or so I thought - from watching YouTube clips,’ he says.

‘Unfortunately, my first attempt to show off hit the prop master in the stomach before he’d even had a chance to explain what I had to do. He wasn’t hurt, but the rest of the crew fell about laughing.’

Lindsay looks back fondly on My Family. Even the Duchess of Cornwall was a fan of the sitcom. ‘Ah, so pleased to meet my favourite TV dentist,’ said Camilla when they were introduced at a party.

‘It really was extraordinarily popular,’ says Lindsay. ‘But Zoe and I had had enough. It was filmed in front of an audience, and required so much adrenalin that we were absolutely knackered.’

He doesn’t knock it, though.

‘As I got older and had kids, I realised I couldn’t just travel the world to work or swan off with the Royal Shakespeare Company for months on end. I had to knuckle down and earn some money.

‘My Family gave me a nice lifestyle and time to be with my wife, Rosie, and the children [sons Sam, 12, Jamie, nine, and 22-year-old actress daughter Sydney Stevenson, from his previous relationship with actress Diana Weston].’

He was away a lot during his daughter’s childhood. ‘I wasn’t there much,’ he says. ‘I was very preoccupied with being a success, very self-absorbed.

‘For years I escaped reality on film sets, which seemed much more attractive than taking kids on camping holidays or doing the shopping. But these days, being a good dad and husband are the most fulfilling things for me.

‘When Spy came along, I took it because it was a cameo part, not a leading role, and I was happy to let someone else carry the burden.

‘It was fun, too. I based my character on Robert Duvall playing the mad captain on the beach in Apocalypse Now. And the more seriously I tried to play it, the funnier it became.’

Lindsay first rose to fame in the Seventies as hapless Tooting revolutionary Wolfie in the TV comedy Citizen Smith. His own roots were modest. Brought up in the mining town of Ilkeston, Derbyshire, his mother, descended from travellers, was a cleaner, and his joiner father suffered from TB most of his life.

Lindsay studied drama at his local college of higher education and admits he went into acting with a chip on his shoulder: he and Wolfie had a lot in common.

‘Back in those days I was fired by working-class indignation. I was intolerant of people from a different class; suspicious of people with a lot of money; defensive because I hadn’t been to university.’

As former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher was to discover for herself. It was during a London run of the play Becket 14 years ago that the Iron Lady, who was in the audience, invited Lindsay and his co-star Derek Jacobi to supper after the performance. Lindsay said no thanks.

‘Mrs Thatcher came shimmering into my dressing room wearing a black and silver evening gown,’ recalls Lindsay. ‘She asked me why I didn’t want to go out to dinner. I said: “Actually, ma’am, I don’t agree with your politics,” and she quipped: “Well, that doesn’t affect your appetite, does it?”


Since then, he has come to lament his churlishness.

‘It’s one of my biggest regrets that I didn’t accept her invitation to dinner that night,’ he admits ruefully. ‘Even my dad, who was so Left-wing he was almost communist, told me I’d been stupid. But I’ve let all that go now.’

He is surprisingly open about his mistakes. He admits that when former partner Diana Weston suffered a miscarriage, he failed to give her the support she needed. ‘I behaved very badly, but I was too bound up with myself to realise,’ he recalls. ‘I blamed her for losing the baby because she’d carried on working and doing what she wanted to do.

‘Diana told me: “You’ve got a problem,” and off I went to see a Harley Street shrink. It proved transformative. It released some anger.’

The psychiatrist asked Lindsay if he had a ‘problem with women’. Out of the blue, he exhumed a childhood incident in which his mother had hit him repeatedly with a knitting needle for swapping a toy. The reprimand happened when, fraught after two miscarriages, she had finally become pregnant. Lindsay, who had been an only child for ten years, found out about the happy event by accident.

He now recognises that his mother’s apparent rejection and the unexpected news about a sibling disturbed him profoundly. It also shaped his future relationships with women. This self-awareness helped change his behaviour. So, years later, when Rosie suffered two miscarriages before becoming pregnant with Sam, he was able to offer her support.

‘I was a completely different person as a result of the therapy. I stayed by Rosie’s side and helped her through.’

Rosie — a former dancer who, as Rosemarie Ford, was a hostess on The Generation Game — gave up work to raise their sons, though she still teaches dance and is on the parish council near their Buckinghamshire home.

‘I keep reassuring her that if she wants to pursue her career, I’m happy to stay at home with the boys. But she says: “I don’t want to miss bath time.” ’

He is now preparing to return to the stage opposite Joanna Lumley in The Lion In Winter, which opens at London’s Theatre Royal Haymarket next month. ‘The stage is what I do best,’ he says. ‘My wife says that’s when I’m happiest.’

Lindsay is affable company. So is he ever as grumpy in real life as his character in My Family? ‘Oh, I can be quite rude if people stop me when I’m out with the family,’ he says equably.

En route to rehearsals, a fan recognises him. Lindsay beams and pauses to sign an autograph. The old curmudgeon seems reformed. It must be the rosy glow imparted by those specs.

[faginsgirl]

I thought he was brilliant in Citizen Smith, I just didn`t like his Fagin.

[didi-5]

I cannot imagine him as James Bond either, and he was an atrocious Richard III.

However I am happy to hear that he has conquered his depression and seems to have a happy marriage with Rosemarie Ford (who used to be the leggy assistant on Brucie's Generation Game when it was revamped).

He always seems to be an actor who was capable of more than he actually delivered - either through bad choices or not enough dedication. Coasting along in My Family is a peculiar way of spending a decade when you're a classical actor at heart.

[jimw1]

Coasting along in My Family is a peculiar way of spending a decade when you're a classical actor at heart.

It is ...I saw him in Manchester in the 80s Playing King Lear.....A Very Powerful Performance....

[Steve Crook]

Coasting along in My Family is a peculiar way of spending a decade when you're a classical actor at heart.

Robert Lindsay is also a fine comedy actor. Just think of "Citizen Smith" or "Nightingales". But "My Family" is dire whichever way you look at it, although it'll be a good retirement fund for him with all the repeat fees as it's shown endlessly on various digital channels.

Steve

[didi-5]

Robert Lindsay is also a fine comedy actor. Just think of "Citizen Smith" or "Nightingales". But "My Family" is dire whichever way you look at it, although it'll be a good retirement fund for him with all the repeat fees as it's shown endlessly on various digital channels.

Steve

Citizen Smith is way, way better than My Family! That was also a long, long time ago ...

[faginsgirl]

Robert Lindsay is also a fine comedy actor. Just think of "Citizen Smith" or "Nightingales". But "My Family" is dire whichever way you look at it, although it'll be a good retirement fund for him with all the repeat fees as it's shown endlessly on various digital channels.

Steve

He was good in `Get some in` too, but I agree about `My Family`, cheap t.v with expensive actors.

[Moor Larkin]

If every time my name was mentioned somebody then mentioned Citizen Smith, I'd be bloody depressed too...

That show was dire at the time and would seem even more so if it were to come back and haunt me.

[GRAEME]

GBH and Nightingales were good too.

I saw him in amazing form as the King to Derek Jacobi's Beckett.

Fine actor. Wasted on My Family.

[Steve Crook]

If every time my name was mentioned somebody then mentioned Citizen Smith, I'd be bloody depressed too...

That show was dire at the time and would seem even more so if it were to come back and haunt me.

If every time my name was mentioned somebody then mentioned Citizen Smith, I'd be very proud...

That show was great at the time and has since become regarded as a classic.

If I was also remembered for another great series like "Nightingales" I would be even more proud



Add to that all of his other great work on stage and screen and he's got nothing to be ashamed of or depressed about - except "My Family"

Steve

[ShirlGirl]

Robert Lindsay is also a fine comedy actor. Just think of "Citizen Smith" or "Nightingales". But "My Family" is dire whichever way you look at it, although it'll be a good retirement fund for him with all the repeat fees as it's shown endlessly on various digital channels.

Steve

And in Australia.

I like Robert Lindsay and I enjoyed My Family for a wee while.

[Moor Larkin]

A hesitantly simple interviewer, but this leaves lots of space for Lindsay to talk openly about himself and his feelings about his work.

[Steve Crook]

And in Australia.

I like Robert Lindsay and I enjoyed My Family for a wee while.

A few episodes of it would have been OK, but it went on for years, and years, and years

Steve

[Steve Crook]

A hesitantly simple interviewer, but this leaves lots of space for Lindsay to talk openly about himself and his feelings about his work.

A nice interview. He doesn't appear to be at all hesitant about talking about "Citizen Smith" or any other TV work.

Steve

[CaptainWaggett]

It is ...I saw him in Manchester in the 80s Playing King Lear.....A Very Powerful Performance....

Hamlet? If it was this production (which I also saw - I remember Polonius being killed without a curtain ) Wouldn't he have been about 40 years too young for Lear?

[Fellwanderer]

He was very good in GBH.

[jimw1]

Hamlet? If it was this production (which I also saw - I remember Polonius being killed without a curtain ) Wouldn't he have been about 40 years too young for Lear?

thats the Very one Captain.....Doesnt time play tricks on the Mind.....