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15-04-2006, 12:18 AM
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Johnny Rico
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Senior Member
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The Next Stop
------------------ Barbara Windsor gets on. BW : Ere , Do you Go All the Way? RV : Not 'Alf ! Hold Very Tight Please! BW : Sauce! Teeheehee ------------------------------------------------- |
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15-04-2006, 03:35 PM
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samkydd
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Senior Member
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Quote:
SJ: A lot of people do it, lookin' at shop signs is an easy way to come up with a new name. LH: I serpurze people do the serme when they're thinkin' of a nahme for their children too! SJ: Quite possibly. LH: What wurze the nerme of thet pizza taka-wah we just parsed Sid? SJ: Domino! [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rotfl.gif[/img] |
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17-04-2006, 02:59 PM
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Johnny Rico
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Senior Member
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LH: What wurze the nerme of thet pizza taka-wah we just parsed Sid?
SJ: Domino! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Posted by SamKydd LH : Thet Bleek up thar, the Big Filla , whits he eaten? SJ : Some sort of chocolate , it looks like a BOUNTY LH : Ee pliys fitball , dint he? SJ : Yes , it;s Leeds Uniteds hard man , Norman HUNTER |
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17-04-2006, 06:21 PM
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samkydd
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Senior Member
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Quote:
SJ: He's behind us. If you wanna see him you'll have to go to the rear window and Look Back in 'Anger Lane on the gyratory system! |
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17-04-2006, 08:18 PM
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Johnny Rico
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Senior Member
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LH: I can't see him nah!
SJ: He's behind us. If you wanna see him you'll have to go to the rear window and Look Back in 'Anger Lane on the gyratory system! ********************SamKydd*********************** ****************************** Nice One ! :) |
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18-04-2006, 02:08 PM
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samkydd
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Senior Member
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Quote:
LH: The Mancunian Candidate! |
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18-04-2006, 02:12 PM
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samkydd
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Senior Member
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Quote:
LH: I can see him, Alan Freeman in a boat! |
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18-04-2006, 02:15 PM
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samkydd
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Senior Member
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Quote:
LH: I can see him, Alan Freeman in a boat! |
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25-04-2006, 08:31 PM
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djdave
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Quote:
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25-05-2006, 11:39 AM
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Famous Mortimer
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Quote:
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25-05-2006, 12:02 PM
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Johnny Rico
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Senior Member
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Suddenly the Bus is enveloped in a white Glow .An unearthly presence emerges onto the Top Deck. Sid James drops his can of Top Deck .
Shane Ritchie-: ' Ere , Luv a Duck , it's me- Shane Ritchie from the future ! Sid James-----: Cor Blimey , What are they putting in Top Deck these Days! Shane Ritchie-: Leave it ahhhrrt , I'm here to tell you abahhrt the future of Carry On Films Sid James-----: Does it involve Windsor Davies? Shane Ritchie-: 'Fraid So Sid James-----: Not Patrick Mower..Please,not Patrick Mower Shane Ritchie-: Perhaps I shouldn't Mention Vinnie Jones Sid James------: Oooo? Shane Ritchie-: Think Norman Hunter , ...close enough Sid James-----: Wheres Babs in all this? Sha~e Ritchie-: She refused to be in it. Instead shes in the leading Soap ...wiv me! Sid James-----: Does her Bra fly off? Shane Ritchie-: Sadly No...hmm Sid James-----: 'Ere , Laurence ...You seeing this too? Laurence Harvey : Nahh , Sid ...its an allegory |
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25-05-2006, 03:09 PM
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theuofc
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Quote:
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25-05-2006, 04:54 PM
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samkydd
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Senior Member
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Quote:
Enter Vinnie Jones: Vinnie: 'Allo every body, er er, prompt! Prompt: "I 'ad an allergory once......." Vinnie: Er, I 'as 'ad an allergory, once, er er, prompt! Prompt: "I was allergic to peanuts ......." Vinnie: Er, I, I wuz allergick to peanuts. er, er prompt! Prompt: "My mother used to buy me bags of Revels ......." Vinnie: Er, my muvver used to buy me bagsa Revels.....er, er, prompt! Prompt: "So I could play Russian Roulette!" Vinnie: Er, so I could play Russian Roulette.....er, er, 'Allo Vinnie! Prompt: It's not your turn! Shane: Er, prompt. Prompt: "Hello Vinnie!" Vinnie & Shane: 'Allo Vinnie! Sid James: Gor Blimey, if this is the best they can do I'm better off out of it! I can see why Babs likes being in Eastenders, playing against the likes of these twerps she'd feel like she was Dame Edith Evans! Vinnie & Shane: Edifoo? Sid James: Why don't you two just sling yer 'ook and go and open a supermarket or someat? Shane: There's already loads down our way, open 24 hours! Vinnie: An' all night as well! Sid James: You're not related to Bernie Bresslaw by any chance? Vinnie & Shane: Bernioo? Sid James: I've 'ad enough of this caper I'm going back up there to my eternal dressing room. I've gotta share it with Williams, Bresslaw, Scottie, Hawtrey, Kenny Connor, Hattie, Joanie and Fatlegs 'Ancock but it's better than stayin' down 'ere with these two Charlies! Shane: Charlieoo? Vinnie: Can I 'as your autograph before you go ? For my missus of course! Sid James: Certainly boy, what name do you want on it? Vinnie: Er, Sid James I fink! Shane: Sidoo? Sid James: Gordon Bennett, what a flamin' carry on, I mean who do you want it dedicated to? Shane: Gordonoo? Vinnie: Oh er, can you write "To my darlin' E-Bayer, All the Best Sid James" Sid James: Right there you go mush! Now I'm off back up through those Pearly Gates, give my love to Babs when you see 'er! Exit Sid James and enter Phil Daniels: Phil Daniels: 'Allo U2 wot's occurrin'? Vinnie: No I ain't working' wiv 'im he's a useless bleedin' acta! Shane: They're really scrapin' the barrel usin' 'im. Vinnie: He shoulda stuck to zit cream adverts he's shit on Eastenders! Shane: Worse than I wuz an' that's sayin' some-ink! Phil Daniels: Well good luck wiv the film lads, break a leg! Vinnie: I'll break your bleedin' legs in a minute! Enter leading lady, Jade Goody: Jade: 'Allo you lot, we had a right laugh Up West last night din we? Vinnie: You in this bleedin' film as well then yer cow? Jade: Yeah, my agent said to do anyfink that would improve my public profile so it was either do this or shoot me bleedin' self wunnit? Whose 'im then? Phil Daniels: I was in Quadraphenia don't you recognise me? Jade: Not really, mind you one night club's the same as the next when I go out on the piss! Phil: Breaking Glass? Jade: I've broke loads of 'em, tokally wickedly out of bleedin' control me mate! Phil: You must remember me I wuz rebelious youth culture personified! Jade: Nah, mate, but I've 'ad lotsa Kentucky Fried. The voice sounds familair though, didn't you used to do zit cream ad voiceovers? <span style="font-size:36pt;line-height:100%"><span style="color:red">Next!</span></span> |
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25-05-2006, 10:37 PM
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Johnny Rico
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Senior Member
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Vinnie - 'Ere whats all this abahrt a Best Boy , I aint havin none of that stuff!
Shane - Leave it ahrrt , Vinnie , its just one of the crew..like the Sparks Vinnie - I liked them , are they doin the music? Shane - You sure you never headed a Post? Vinnie - 'Ere , are you being sar-car-stic? Shane - Er , tell me abahrt your friendship with Bobby Duvall Vinnie - Eh? Oh 'im. 'Ee was a Diamond Geezah , even if he was a Yank. I've worked wiv em all , Angelina Jolly , John Travelator, Nicholas Rage , Sir Lawrence Oliver... Shane - Surely some mistake? Vinnie - Jamie Oliver , Jamie Collum, Gollum, Andy Circus, Barnum , Bailey..Great Photographer, always surrounded by Birds. I like Birds! Shane - Sorry , is it my line.I nodded off Vinnie - Yerss, That Armstrong Bailey fella , ee ad a way wiv the Birds . Before my time but thats what appens when the muse takes me Shane - You what? Vinnie - Oh Yerss, Im into all that poncy nonsense ,nah that i am an ac-tor. That Madonna , she showed me how to centre my aura. Funny I could never centre before , just used to punt it into Row Z Shane - You amaze me Vinnie - Fanx , 'Ere oo was that Sid James? Was he David's Dad? Shane - TAXI! |
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