samkydd

For many years we've had these silly out take programmes and desperate viewers sending in contrived accidents on video for cash, and I briefly saw part of a programme a few days ago (couldn't turn it off it was someone else's house) and wondered why they have existed for so many years?

The first one I remember was Dennis Norden's It'll Be Alright on the Night from around 25 years ago, which was new at the time because we'd not seen people like Peter Sellers burst out laughing during a film take before! Now we have clips from anywhere, and Naughtiest Bloomers where people swear and you may see someone's tits, wow isn't that unusual these days! They also pad out with stuff from abroad where everyone's skin looks like they've been auditioning for a Tango ad!

The programmes are introduced either by a smarmy bingo caller/Butlins red coat presenter who you've never heard of or seen before, and you immediately wonder why he isn't selling time shares to gullible pensioners in The Algarve, or it's someone like Harry Hill whose sold his soul to Avalon, Terry Wig-on, or some lard arse reject from a soap! Why they need a presenter at all is baffling to say the least, nothing they ever say could be described as funny. Every programme is accompanied by some laughter track which makes it even worse, or if there's a studio audience they actually applaud some of the clips!


The ones sent in by viewers are so staged it's unbelievable. I mean why would anyone be filming someone fixing a garage roof, or putting up shelves? They also feature rubbish ones from the US filmed at a wedding in about 1979 from the picture quality and date stamp.

I know it's cheap television and I know many of us in the UK are really thick, but surely this sort of thing is television's way of admitting defeat, owning up to the fact that they've run out of ideas, their programme makers are complete tossers, and nothing can be as bad as sinking to these depths!

Then came Airline, Cruise Ship, Hotel, Big Brother, Wife Swap, Neighbours-Holidays-Kids-Traffic Jams From Hell etc. What's the betting they'll have a reality TV out takes programme before long with Jeremy from Airport telling an awkward passenger to f*** off "with hilarious consequences".

"...the chairman of Littlewoods stores made a Keynote speech!"

Marky B

I agree,Sam. The out take programmes are more embarrassing to watch when some actor or actress make a big scene of it when they realise they have done a cock-up. Like you say,25 years ago it was a good idea - so was Betamax.
As for You've Been Framed (presented by one of the most unfunniest men on television),I said that the other night about why do people take videoes of others putting up shelves,repairing the roof etc.
Reality programmes - they are not real. People behave like that because there is a television camera. One of the worst examples was an immigrant officer chastising someone (who didn't speak English) because his passport was wrong. I think the immigrant had made some form of mistake - he wasn't trying to con his way into the country. However,the officer kept saying at the top of his voice:"The World has changed since 9/11","The World has changed since 9/11". It was patronising,over the top and clearly showing off to the cameras.
Ta Ta
Marky B

I once shot an elephant in my pyjamas - how he got in my pyjamas,I'll never know

samkydd

Well I know that docu-soaps are stage managed and they employ actors to play the parts of stroppy German customers etc. The "real" people who appear talk in cliches continuously, "...at the end of the day it's his fault for not checking in on time, and so he's let the cat out of the pigeons, and the horse has bolted from the stable door, too late to tango, and so he'll have to pay for another ticket and go tomorrow, which at the end of the day will be yesterday!!" or ".........he can talk the talk, but doesn't put his money where the bird in the hand is, and as far as I'm concerned, the be all and end all of it is that its poli-i-cull correckness gorn mad! "

"...the chairman of Littlewoods stores made a Keynote speech!"

Jackdaw

I wonder about the £250 that the originators of the clips receive.Obviously that is a stimulus to fake a scene riding a bike off a cliff or fixing a roof aerial in a gale,but what happens when a serious gem is sent in?
I presume that in accepting the dosh,the owner forfeits copyright and misses out on royalties when his clip is shown a thousand times worldwide on equivalent shows, such as the US version,"Hey y'all,look at this c***".
As for the "pro" shows like "It'll be all sh*te on the night",enough is enough!The same old clips keep turning up on all the different shows, and the description"all new" can only refer to their presence together in one particular show
Perhaps we need a five year moratorium to allow some good quality out-takes to build up.

Cheers

Jacky

arty-dave

If only one could - the licence is still payable if you have a device CAPABLE of receiving television broadcasts, regardless if you have disabled the means to receive such signals.

Steve Crook

If you don't just disconnect, but totally remove the aerial then it isn't capable of receiving broadcast signals.
But the licence police might want to come round to check that.

Steve

arty-dave

not so, I'm afraid - they will argue that an indoor aerial can be connected

Steve Crook

Challenge them to prove that you have one

Steve

arty-dave

I'm working towards replacing my videos with dvd, and look forward to the day when I can throw away my tv and use a computer monitor instead!

samkydd

The problem is that in the near future it will be common to have TV on demand via your home TV box, PC or network, with films and programmes saved to a hard disk on a file server under the stairs or wherever. Most home computer equipment will be sold with TV and Freeview cards fitted as standard. Then the licencing authorities will say that anyone with a PC/laptop is now capable of receiving broadcasts, therefore if you have such computer devices but no telly, you will have to buy a TV licence anyway!

When you buy a TV from a shop, the shop is obliged to send a little card into the TV Licence people to notify them of your name and address because you've bought a new telly. The licencing people then check to see if you already have a licence, and if not, pound signs start flashing in their eyeballs as they wait to pounce with a summons. This will probably also be the case if you buy a computer capable of receiving TV, or even a TV card. So always pay cash, forget about the "bargain" extended warranty rip off, and leave a false name and address!

"...the chairman of Littlewoods stores made a Keynote speech!"

Fellwanderer

One in Donnie?

FELL

All the best
FELL

A signature is no substitute for a life

samkydd

Yes with a name like Hubert Ramsbottom or Scally Skelmersdale, or even Jenny Fellwanderer-Agutter!

"...the chairman of Littlewoods stores made a Keynote speech!"