Loudmouthed Old Soap Bags

[samkydd]

Often, when I’ve lost the will to live I will sit in front of the TV and watch soaps and ITV dramas, all of which have wonderful plots and storylines so original that you can predict the outcome for the next six months; “I’m gay!” and “My mum had an affair with your dad 20 year ago, and so we can’t get wed ‘cus I’m your sister!” and the old favourite “I thought I were just a bit late, but I’m pregnant!”



The acting is on a par with some dissatisfied and irate member of the public complaining to the rosy-cheeked manager in a stage-managed fly-on-the-wall documentary such as Airline .



If I’m still semi-conscious after another extended advert break, I sometimes re-enact Al Pacino’s death scene in The Godfather, sliding off my chair and lying peacefully on the floor! Other times I just sit there comatose, as if waiting for death, unable to move and just letting this codswallop wash over me like so much sewage-tainted flood water!



Most of these programmes have one thing in common; loudmouthed bag characters, who are ugly in personality and as thick as bricks. Despite these obvious handicaps, they just ouze with self-confidence and assertiveness which is very unrealistic. There’s Janice off Coro (“Now look here lady!”) who could pass for Jade Goody’s mother. Les Battersby’s new amour that looks like Bagpuss after a week in a tanning studio, and Gail of course, who only just failed the audition for Galen in Planet of the Apes (1974).



The Geordie co-landlady in Emmerdale who, despite lacking in any grace or charm whatsoever struts about like a strumpet flirting with men of all ages, and opens her big gob without a moment’s hesitation to meddle in someone’s personal business. The Post Mistress is just as bad, 50 something, dresses like a 30 something and is a terrible gossipmonger and stirrer. Then Seth’s widow, yet another nosey parker without a good word to say about anyone. Then the puritanical cow who looks like an Aunt Sally with the hat (this is just in one tiny village mind, four old hags and counting, five if you count Tara King)!



The whole TV set is infested with these horrible bags and they are just awful, not very interesting, and totally unnecessary characters who make what little entertainment value these programmes have to offer so much worse! JMHO of course!



Agree or disagree?



NB. Mind you the young women characters are worse, you could inflate all your car tyres with what's in their heads! The men characters aren't very interesting either for that matter. Methinks I should stop watching!

[Carmel]

SamKydd thats life alright we dont have the stupid stories going on in our lives but we all have fat aunties and uncles and old people in our families, if everyone looked the same what a dull life it would be.

[DB7]

name='samkydd']you can predict the outcome for the next six months; “I’m Gay!” and “My Mum had an affair with your dad 20 year ago, and so we can’t get wed ‘cus I’m your sister!” and the old favourite “I thought I were just a bit late, but I’m pregnant!”

Sounds like the plot-lines come straight from an episode of Jeremy Kyle. I'm afraid to say I've weaned myself off all soaps. I watched Brookside in the early years of Ricky Tomlinson and Anna Friel, Eastenders circa Dirty Den, and The Bill with Burnside et al, but gradually the scripts detiorated due to increased scheduling and I drifted away never to return. It's maybe time some were put to bed and replaced. (tho not by Eldorado)

[samkydd]

name='Carmel']SamKydd thats life alright we dont have the stupid stories going on in our lives but we all have fat aunties and uncles and old people in our families, if everyone looked the same what a dull life it would be.

But the way these programmes depict older women, in particular Northern women is rather insulting don't you think?

[Harleybloke]

name='samkydd']But the way these programmes depict older women, in particular Northern women is rather insulting don't you think?

Insulting to women countywide Sam!

[David Brent]

name='samkydd']But the way these programmes depict older women, in particular Northern women is rather insulting don't you think?

They also seem to depict all young women as men chasing, money grabbing, alcoholic, sex mad bimbos.

Teenagers as misunderstood, angry with the world, shoplifting, drug induced reprobates.

Older men as lazy, beer swilling, broke and henpecked. Addicted to gambling and fish & chips.



As that sort of sums up over half the worlds population then maybe the soap characters are based on real people after all.



Dave.

[Foster twelvetrees]

I think what is more worrying is how these soaps 'normalise' unacceptable behaviour. You have a disagreement with somebody and what do you do, you march straight to the local and have a row with them in front of everybody, ending up belting them across the mouth. It is shown to be acceptable to solve your problems by violence and with no consquences following to the people who comit the violence. Thereby Phil Mitchell is allowed to wallop people and nothing happens to him. No police, no court no prison.



Apart from Coronation Strasse which I only watch for the humour as it always has been the best comedy on the box, I don't watch any of them. Eastenders is just conflict upon conflict, Emmedale Farm is just wierd and Hollyhocks is nothing but soft porn!!!