Laughs - Page 12 - Britmovie

Carmel · 13-10-2007, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lordtednfs

Hi Carmel,
if you like the paranormal there is an excellent series on Discovery Channel called A Haunting, don't know if you get it there. It's been on here for about 5 series now and it really does give you the willies! Hehe. Check it out.

_______________
Hooked off the line

Hi what night is it on.

lordtednfs · 13-10-2007, 06:32 PM

It varies from country to country and different regions. Check out the website Discovery Channel : Home

___________________
Hooked off the line

Joenoir · 13-10-2007, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DB7

I saw an episode of MH where Yvette Fielding looked in a mirror and screamed.

Natural response I thought..

Aaryk Noctivagus · 13-10-2007, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joenoir

Crumbs, the all female 'Queen' tribute band!!!

David Brent · 14-10-2007, 05:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DB7

I saw an episode of MH where Yvette Fielding looked in a mirror and screamed.

Natural response I thought..

I also like it when Yvette shouts out to the entity "Come on show us what you can do. Give us a sign. Throw a stone or something. Show us that you're here. We're not here to hurt you."

Then as soon as she hears a noise she s***s herself.

Or should I rephrase that - as soon as the camera crew make a noise for her. Then she can act her part.

Dave.

kelp · 14-10-2007, 09:10 AM

What is that old saying.....they get the TV they deserve, or the TV they want?
I only ever watched a single episode, and that was enough.

hankoler · 14-10-2007, 09:49 AM

The only paranormal is in their brains or should i say subnormal.

batman · 14-10-2007, 01:07 PM

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

smiffy · 14-10-2007, 02:38 PM

Back to the thread .
The wife asked me if I would like to accompany her to a reincarnation evening,I said go on then, you only live once

batman · 14-10-2007, 02:44 PM

A ghost walks into a pub and asks for a whisky ... the barman says 'Sorry, we don't serve spirits'.

Bats.

Joenoir · 16-10-2007, 04:43 AM

lordtednfs · 17-10-2007, 01:57 PM

This was sent to me today by email:

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh and abdomen, rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider or mouse.

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says........ .."HEBREWS"

God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Touche Ladies, hehe.

___________________
Hooked off the line

lordtednfs · 17-10-2007, 02:40 PM

A man walks into a pub with a pig under his arm. the landlord looks at them and says "I cant serve you"

"Why not" says the pig.

_____________________
Hooked off the line

lordtednfs · 17-10-2007, 02:41 PM

How about some shaggy dog stories?

___________________
Hooked off the line

DB7 · 19-10-2007, 10:27 AM

Adults only

A Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel On the

third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.

After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. "Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim."

"I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two."

"I agree," says the Father. "Sister, since we are unlikely to ma ke it out of here alive, would you do something for me?"

"Anything, Father."

"I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours."

"Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm."

The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.

"Sister, would you mind if I touched them?" She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.

"Father, could I ask something of you?"

"Yes, Sister?"

"I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?"

"I suppose that would be OK," the Priest replied lifting his robe.

"Oh Father, may I touch it?"

The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection.

"Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life."

"Is that true Father?"

"Yes, it is, Sister."

"Oh Father, that's wonderful ... stick it in the camel and let's get the hell out of here!"

14-10-2007, 09:10 AM	#171
kelp is STILL working! Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Staffordshire Posts: 457 My Mood: Country: iTrader: (0)	What is that old saying.....they get the TV they deserve, or the TV they want? I only ever watched a single episode, and that was enough. __________________ BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR...YOU MAY GET IT!

14-10-2007, 01:07 PM	#173
batman is happy Chief Member OBME Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Norwich Posts: 15,800 My Mood: Country: iTrader: (10)	In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. __________________ Oh look Daddy, it's raining again, look at the river that's in our road, I think they should report this as news in other countries! *Bat-Quiz 9 is under way in the 'Competition' thread, Saturday 19th July, 2008.* Last edited by batman; 14-10-2007 at 01:12 PM.

14-10-2007, 02:38 PM	#174
smiffy is a slave to family obligations Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: MANCHESTER Posts: 517 My Mood: Country: iTrader: (2)	Back to the thread . The wife asked me if I would like to accompany her to a reincarnation evening,I said go on then, you only live once __________________ I'm gonna call mine spider!

14-10-2007, 02:44 PM	#175
batman is happy Chief Member OBME Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Norwich Posts: 15,800 My Mood: Country: iTrader: (10)	A ghost walks into a pub and asks for a whisky ... the barman says 'Sorry, we don't serve spirits'. Bats. __________________ Oh look Daddy, it's raining again, look at the river that's in our road, I think they should report this as news in other countries! *Bat-Quiz 9 is under way in the 'Competition' thread, Saturday 19th July, 2008.*

16-10-2007, 04:43 AM	#176
Joenoir has no status. Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: North-West Posts: 2,404 Country: iTrader: (0)	__________________ Start every day with a smile and get it over with.

13-10-2007, 06:32 PM	#167
lordtednfs has no status. Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Philippines Posts: 509 My Mood: Country: iTrader: (0)	It varies from country to country and different regions. Check out the website Discovery Channel : Home ___________________ Hooked off the line

14-10-2007, 09:49 AM	#172
hankoler has no status. Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: west lancs. Posts: 750 My Mood: Country: iTrader: (1)	The only paranormal is in their brains or should i say subnormal.

17-10-2007, 01:57 PM	#177
lordtednfs has no status. Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Philippines Posts: 509 My Mood: Country: iTrader: (0)	This was sent to me today by email: UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh and abdomen, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider or mouse. WHO DOES WHAT A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says........ .."HEBREWS" God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece. Touche Ladies, hehe. ___________________ Hooked off the line

17-10-2007, 02:40 PM	#178
lordtednfs has no status. Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Philippines Posts: 509 My Mood: Country: iTrader: (0)	A man walks into a pub with a pig under his arm. the landlord looks at them and says "I cant serve you" "Why not" says the pig. _____________________ Hooked off the line

17-10-2007, 02:41 PM	#179
lordtednfs has no status. Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Philippines Posts: 509 My Mood: Country: iTrader: (0)	How about some shaggy dog stories? ___________________ Hooked off the line

19-10-2007, 10:27 AM	#180
DB7 is scavenging through life's very constant lulls Administrator Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Shrops Posts: 6,186 My Mood: Country: iTrader: (10)	Adults only A Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning. After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. "Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim." "I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more than a day or two." "I agree," says the Father. "Sister, since we are unlikely to ma ke it out of here alive, would you do something for me?" "Anything, Father." "I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see yours." "Well, under the circumstances I don't see that it would do any harm." The Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty. "Sister, would you mind if I touched them?" She consented and he fondled them for several minutes. "Father, could I ask something of you?" "Yes, Sister?" "I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?" "I suppose that would be OK," the Priest replied lifting his robe. "Oh Father, may I touch it?" The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a huge erection. "Sister, you know that if I insert my penis in the right place, it can give life." "Is that true Father?" "Yes, it is, Sister." "Oh Father, that's wonderful ... stick it in the camel and let's get the hell out of here!"

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