DB7

Try this:
milaadesign.com - website designer

Carmel

THE HUSBAND STORE






A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

"That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more."

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives who love sex.

The second floor has wives who love sex and have money.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Live each day to the full because one day it will be your last.

francesgumm

A man goes to his Doctor. the doc says 'what seems to be the problem'? The man says 'you have to promise not to laugh' .The doc says 'fine' so the man pulls down his pants to reveal a tiny penis. Doc manages to say 'whats wrong with it'? man replies 'Its swollen'. Well, i laughed.

Steve Crook

WOW spooky

Oops, I meant to type, "What rubbish"
It's just a random number generator selecting a symbol to show.
Sometimes it will work, each symbol is used for a few different results

Steve

Bell Bottom George

How did the baker electrocute himself ?

He stood on a bun, and a currant ran up his leg !

"What larks we had Mr Pip...........what larks !"

Cypher

Here's another from the same box of Christmas crackers...

How do you make shocking cakes? Use electric currants! (Oh, dear )

"Fetch me another anger therapist!"

samkydd

A little boy walked into a pet shop and said to the shopkeeper that he wanted to buy a wasp.

The shopkeeper said "We've got guinea pigs, hamsters, mice and goldfish sonny, but we don't have any wasps!"

"Yes you have I've just seen one in the window!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A pork pie walked into a pub and the barman said to him "We don't serve food!"

"...the chairman of Littlewoods stores made a Keynote speech!"

Micky T

What did the slug say to the snail?
"Big Issue!"

batman

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

Bats.

"Boom boom a baby .... Banham Zoo .... Banana pants! Hahahaha"

Dame Starry

How many elephants can you get in a Mini?
Four - two in the back and two in the front.
How many giraffes can you get in a Mini?
None - because it's full of elephants; two in the back and two in the front.

How does an elephant get up a tree?
He sits on a seed and waits.

How does an elephant get down from a tree?
He sits on a leaf and waits until autumn.

YDSL x.

The Christmas countdown has begun - don't leave it all until the last minute!

Bell Bottom George

How High is a Chinaman ?

"What larks we had Mr Pip...........what larks !"

batman

Bats.

"Boom boom a baby .... Banham Zoo .... Banana pants! Hahahaha"

Dame Starry

I don't know, Bell Bottom George, how high IS a Chinaman?

The Christmas countdown has begun - don't leave it all until the last minute!

David Brent

A man is walking through a park when he notices an old man sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out.
The man feels sorry for the old man, so walks up to him and asks him what the matter is?
The old man tells him "I'm 80 years of age and married to a beautiful 25 year old woman. Every night she cooks me a gourmet meal. We then go to the bedroom where we make passionate love together until we fall asleep in each others arms."
"So why are you crying?" the other man asks.
Between tears the old man replies "I cannot remember where I live"

Dave.

smiffy

I May be getting older ,but I refuse to grow up