Laughs - Page 9 - Britmovie

DB7 · 09-12-2006, 11:07 PM

In recognition of that most hated veg of the Christmas dinner:
Attack of the Sprouts

WiseFilms · 10-12-2006, 06:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DB7

In recognition of that most hated veg of the Christmas dinner:
Attack of the Sprouts

I feel awful, having scored 565 points killing sprouts.
The surest way to kill sprouts is to overcook them, but I didn't have that option.

DB7 · 18-12-2006, 08:47 PM

Jim · 19-12-2006, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DB7

In recognition of that most hated veg of the Christmas dinner:
Attack of the Sprouts

They are best served very fresh, then they don't have that aweful 'strong' taste - I love 'em - good anti-carcenogenic qualities I'm told.

Ascoyne D'Ascoyne · 19-12-2006, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny English

I always thought there was a lot of in-breeding in France.

What do you call a Frenchman with half a brain?
Lucky!

From the same genre as,
"What do you call a beautiful girl in Poland?"
Answer "A Tourist"

Very unfair on Polish girls, many of them very nice

:

David Brent · 20-12-2006, 04:45 AM

Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are on a camping trip. It is late by the time they have set up their tent so they decide to go straight to sleep.
During the night Holmes and Watson both wake up at the same time.
Sherlock turns to Watson and says "Look up there Watson and tell me what you see."
Watson looks up and sees a cloudless night with thousands upon thousands of bright stars shining in the sky.
"I see thousands of stars" Watson replied.
Sherlock Holmes nodded. "And what does that tell you Watson?" he asked.
"It shows the insignificance of human existance. We are but a small part of a vast universe. Our decisions, our choices, our lives are meaningless" replied Watson.
Sherlock Holmes turned and looked at Dr. Watson, looked up at the sky and than back at Watson and said -
"No, you idiot! It means someone has pinched our bloody tent".

Dave.

David Brent · 20-12-2006, 04:50 AM

What do you call an England cricketer with 100 runs to his name?
A bowler.

What is the definition of optimism?
An England batsman who puts suncream on.

Why don't England fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
Because they never catch anything.

Boom-boom.

Dave.

Freddy · 20-12-2006, 11:28 AM

If you want to know what your forum name looks like in Russian, type it in and you will be impressed. Makes you realise why so many great writers are Russian.

http://www.callme.nm.ru/

regards

Freddy

DB7 · 20-12-2006, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by David Brent

Boom-boom.

Dave.

Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came out, fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of industry etc, but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.

"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."

The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true.

"No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for England but I was just too embarrassed to say."

Steve Crook · 20-12-2006, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freddy

If you want to know what your forum name looks like in Russian, type it in and you will be impressed. Makes you realise why so many great writers are Russian.

http://www.callme.nm.ru/

regards

Freddy

Great stuff

Steve

DB7 · 08-10-2007, 05:04 PM

As my Christmas catalogues are dropping through the mailbox this seems the ideal thread for this (love the picture):

Girl, 10, trapped in drain - Local News - News - Liverpool Echo.co.uk

batman · 08-10-2007, 05:07 PM

The girl in the hole reminded me of this ...

Bats.

lordtednfs · 08-10-2007, 05:33 PM

Why just xmas????? Let us laugh all the year round. So Many great jokes. More please.

__________________
Hooked off the line

Joenoir · 08-10-2007, 05:33 PM

I'll invite you all to my funeral

, you probably need a good laugh!

lordtednfs · 08-10-2007, 05:41 PM

Feel very sorry for the drain!!!!!

08-10-2007, 05:07 PM	#132
batman is happy to announce that The Boy Wonder is a bit better today Chief Member OBME Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Norwich Posts: 15,775 My Mood: Country: iTrader: (10)	The girl in the hole reminded me of this ... Bats. __________________ Connor, come and look at my Daddy's leg, it's bleeding, wow!

08-10-2007, 05:33 PM	#133
lordtednfs has no status. Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Philippines Posts: 509 My Mood: Country: iTrader: (0)	Xmas Laughs Why just xmas????? Let us laugh all the year round. So Many great jokes. More please. __________________ Hooked off the line

08-10-2007, 05:33 PM	#134
Joenoir has no status. Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: North-West Posts: 2,404 Country: iTrader: (0)	I'll invite you all to my funeral , you probably need a good laugh! __________________ Start every day with a smile and get it over with.

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09-12-2006, 11:07 PM	#121
DB7 is scavenging through life's very constant lulls Administrator Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Shrops Posts: 6,189 My Mood: Country: iTrader: (10)	In recognition of that most hated veg of the Christmas dinner: Attack of the Sprouts

18-12-2006, 08:47 PM	#123
DB7 is scavenging through life's very constant lulls Administrator Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Shrops Posts: 6,189 My Mood: Country: iTrader: (10)

20-12-2006, 04:45 AM	#126
David Brent has no status. Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Queensland, Australia. Posts: 2,283 Country: iTrader: (3)	Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson are on a camping trip. It is late by the time they have set up their tent so they decide to go straight to sleep. During the night Holmes and Watson both wake up at the same time. Sherlock turns to Watson and says "Look up there Watson and tell me what you see." Watson looks up and sees a cloudless night with thousands upon thousands of bright stars shining in the sky. "I see thousands of stars" Watson replied. Sherlock Holmes nodded. "And what does that tell you Watson?" he asked. "It shows the insignificance of human existance. We are but a small part of a vast universe. Our decisions, our choices, our lives are meaningless" replied Watson. Sherlock Holmes turned and looked at Dr. Watson, looked up at the sky and than back at Watson and said - "No, you idiot! It means someone has pinched our bloody tent". Dave.

20-12-2006, 04:50 AM	#127
David Brent has no status. Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Queensland, Australia. Posts: 2,283 Country: iTrader: (3)	What do you call an England cricketer with 100 runs to his name? A bowler. What is the definition of optimism? An England batsman who puts suncream on. Why don't England fielders need pre-tour travel injections? Because they never catch anything. Boom-boom. Dave.

20-12-2006, 11:28 AM	#128
Freddy has no status. Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: The Irish Sea Posts: 1,188 Country: iTrader: (1)	If you want to know what your forum name looks like in Russian, type it in and you will be impressed. Makes you realise why so many great writers are Russian. http://www.callme.nm.ru/ regards Freddy

08-10-2007, 05:04 PM	#131
DB7 is scavenging through life's very constant lulls Administrator Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Shrops Posts: 6,189 My Mood: Country: iTrader: (10)	As my Christmas catalogues are dropping through the mailbox this seems the ideal thread for this (love the picture): Girl, 10, trapped in drain - Local News - News - Liverpool Echo.co.uk

08-10-2007, 05:41 PM	#135
lordtednfs has no status. Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Philippines Posts: 509 My Mood: Country: iTrader: (0)	Feel very sorry for the drain!!!!!