Laughs

[moonfleet]

FOR ADULTS ONLY (Suite)

Is it Christmas for the reindeers too ??

  Spoiler:

I'm sorry doctor, but I can't take this out of my mind.

- It's this s.. of a b... who killed my wife !

  Spoiler:

- Do you really think so...?? - It's also Santa's Christmas - Come on !

[jimw1]

FOR ADULTS ONLY (Suite)

Is it Christmas for the reindeers too ??

  Spoiler:

I don't know why doctor, but I can't take this out of my mind.

[jimw1]

not really for laughs but I wasn't sure where else to post this.........

Two Russians have an unbelievably narrow escape..........

[Sgt Sunshine]

not really for laughs but I wasn't sure where else to post this.........

Two Russians have an unbelievably narrow escape..........

Cheers Jim......I bet the rest of the film is incredibly boring.....
Hope Abby hasn't worn you out too much....

[jimw1]

Cheers Jim......I bet the rest of the film is incredibly boring.....
Hope Abby hasn't worn you out too much....

She hasn't Sgt......she is worn out with all the Excitement...and Ive been a good boy avoiding the drink so far ..........Soon to change though

[moonfleet]

[jimw1]

[moonfleet]

Ugo Tognazzi in LA GRANDE BOUFFE, imitating Marlon Brando's performance in THE GODFATHER

[ShirlGirl]

The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.
- George Bernard Shaw

[moonfleet]

[ShirlGirl]

Insults From Years Gone By


These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.


A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

[Chevyman]

BBC to consider cutting channel that requires viewers to pay attention

[batman]

Miaow!

409147_2868060213628_1023509076_32914197_190766658_n.jpg

[moonfleet]

[Steve Crook]

Especially the bit at about 4:00
"He pulled a knife on me!"



Steve

[ShirlGirl]

Vocabulary Word for the Day: LIQUIDITY

Definition: Liquidity is when you look at your retirement funds and wet your pants.

[icetorch]

I can't remember who said these ones:

1] "Look at those gulls!" - "How do you know they're not boys?"

2] "When they circumcised YOU, they threw the wrong bit away!"

---

I also remember reading some book reviews in the 1990s. One was on a scholarly book about masochism, of all things. The reviewer was full of praise: "This is a good book. Read it! If you don't like it: read it AGAIN!"

[ShirlGirl]

Longest Nerve In The Body

Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus?

It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life.

If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your arse and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eyes.

[ShirlGirl]

It takes all sorts....


Man wins right to wear pasta strainer on driver licence - Yahoo!7

[agutterfan]

Peter Sellers as Laurence Olivier as Richard III as Lennon & McCartney. From the 1965 TV special Music of Lennon and McCartney, made by those brilliant people at Granada TV. Also released as a single, with Help! on the b-side.