Why do they look a the phone

[donna]

aye well someone should have told me Steve I got into a row for ruining my days work from the teacher hahah. I had an old Remington typewriter at school. what a din in that class.

[donna]

the other ones in say ER when they all rush in hanging on to the trolley and shouting silly stuff like Cardiac Arrest and holding drips, some even have skates on now, when my mum had her heart attack she lay in a corridor for an hour, says it all eh.

[john audley]

Originally Posted by donna other thing that annoy me is when a man and woman make a date but dont say where or what time.

What about the countless times they order a meal only to leave without eating much if at all and then throws down a wad of cash without any knowledge of how much or a 'thank you' to the restaurant
The classic fore me is in the original Invasion of the Body Snatchers where the two leads order martini's fully laden with fancy trimmings when the dock is called away and he says 'don't worry we will be back for them later'!
I have watched the film many times but he never goes back for the drinks

Judging by the amount of drink consumed in most films the actors must be alcoholics

[donna]

all true John that annoys me too leaving the cash on the table or ordering a drink that gets left. hate when they let a big chandelier fall from the ceiling or smash mirrors, keep thinking of the waste.

[ShirlGirl]

I love the way they always drive straight into a parking space directly in front of where they want to go, even in the middle of a city. There's rarely a parking meter to bother about and they never lock the car.

[donna]

yes Shirl sounds just like where I live in Eastend of Glasgow hahah NOT

[donna]

The girl with the beautiful hair after shes taken off a hat , scarf or safety helmet, always looks lovely mine would be on end or clapped into my head.

[john audley]

A real classic must be in the old (or newer?) Westerns where the hero has spend days crossing the New Mexican desert with only the horse for company with just one flask of water, sleeps with his horse under a horse blanket, never takes his boots of
and fails to shave or wash yet the girl always runs into his arms in close embrace. My other half avoids me after about two hours of gardening

[Steve Crook]

Well if you want lists of silly things they do in the movies, there are plenty of lists out there. Here's one such sample:
1. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting, even when your visiting large corporate buildings or popular night clubs.
2. When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare, even if you only end up handing them a $1 bill.
3. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it’s aired.
4. Creepy music or satanic chanting, coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it’s the door to a burning building with a child or hot chick inside.
6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps and start dancing along, almost as if in a Michael Jackson music video.
7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.
8. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.
9. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving or being shot at.
10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris even from the Eiffel Tower.
11. Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day especially if their family have planned a party. (Also: Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty).
12. Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the midst of a dramatic chase scene.
13. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear or lingerie.
14. On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard...
15. All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags and when those bags split open, only fruit will fall out.
16. Cars never need fuel unless they’re involved in a high speed chase.
17. If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.
18. If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.
19. Guns are like disposable razors or used condoms. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away, you will always find another one.
20. All single women have a cat.
21. Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.
22. No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
23. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade no matter what time of year.
24. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
25. You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
26. Prostitutes always have expensive clothes and nice apartments but never seam to have any pimps. They are also friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighborhood who don’t mind at all what (Who) the girl does for a living.
27. A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium even when no flammable material seams to be present.
28. It is not necessary to say "Hello" or "Goodbye" when beginning a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying "Hello? Hello?" repeatedly.
29. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once especially when the one man is Sylvester Stallone.
30. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly blue or grey tinged.
31. Nerdy or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.
32. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks.
33. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.
34. Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
35. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club (or casino) at least once.
36. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
37. Most musical instruments can be played without moving your fingers.
38. In America Suburbs the girl that moves in next door will almost definitely do naughty things with one other person in the neighborhood.
39. All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present, even people who aren’t liked and would never get invited to parties.
40. If you are Samuel L. Jackson your will certainly call someone a "Motherfucker" during the course of the movie.


Yes, it's an American list. But most of them also apply to British movies

Steve

[donna]

aye they always kno;w all the dance steps to join in, dont they hahahah love the sheets one brilliant.

[donna]

aye the match or candle a cracker, love it.

[donna]

hey what about this one, the flapper days in Chicago with the gangsters theyd run out all shooting jump in the big saloon car and drive off, without having to crank the engine to start.

[Steve Crook]

A few more:
1. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. That will finish in a sex scene.
2. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
3. If someone says, "I'll be right back", they won't.
4. Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen but always say: "Enter Password Now".
5. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
6. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
7. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
8. Any bullet from a handgun has enough force to throw a full-grown man ten feet back.
9. Characters at a bar or at a restaurant table will always get the attention of a server at the exact moment they need to order.
10. When a gift/present is given, the top is wrapped separately from the rest of the box and it lifts straight off so that there is never any ripping or fumbling with wrapping paper.
11. A chase scene on foot in a city always has a shot of one of the characters running into the street, nearly being hit by a car screeching to a halt at which point the driver flails his arm out the window and yells an expletive.
12. Any time a character in an awful rush confronts another character curious about his predicament, the first one says, "There's no time to explain," and then explains anyway.
13. No matter how slow zombies (or mummies) walk they will always catch up.
14. The bad guy will always throw his gun at you to indicate he has run out of bullets.
15. Everybody when needing a computer can type supper fast and never need to hit the space bar!
16. Computers never freeze or crash, unlike in the real world.
17. The computers have super duper graphics programs which can zoom into blurs in fotos to make them super clear!
18. The best way to get laid is to put on some slow jazz music.
19. Every time the "hero" is sneaking into the bad guy's room, checking secret files on the computer:
- 1a. The password is already typed in.
- 1b. The password is very simple.
- 2. There appears a very slow bar saying "copying", "deleting" or "printing" and it is finished just before the bad guy, the security guard or the mexican cleaner comes in.
- 3. In addition to your non-booting computer, they are also turned off in a flash.
- 4. All the characters, even the blonde bimbo's put in to lure us to the cinema, became all-knowing super-mega-nerds once behind a computer. They always know what to do and how to avoid things.
20. Text appearing on a computer monitor appears letter by letter and making a sound as if it was produced by a typewriter.
21. You can find whatever you want on the net in a matter of seconds.
22. If in a battle scene a bad guy actually manages to shoot a good guy, the good guy's friend has the time to listen to his friend's dying speech. Once dead, the friend stands up and shoots the correct bad guy (amongst a whole host of bad guys). The bad guy has apparently been sitting around just waiting to be shot!!
23. No Australian movie is complete without one of:
- 1. A Kangaroo.
- 2. A Boomerang.
- 3. Ayers Rock.
- 4. A Koala.
- 5. All of the above.
24. When gunfire erupts in public places and cops respond instantly to it, they're usally killed by the first shots.
25. When gunfire erupts in public, where there are no cops, they take forever to arrive, but they can still chase the gunmen.
26. Cats always make a noise. If someone is creeping into a house and is momentarily scared by a cat, it always has to meow before running off.
27. Detectives can watch a drug deal (carried out furtively in a shop doorway) go down from a distance of five yards away by the simple expedient of sitting in a car with a newspaper raised to eye level.
28. Serial killers never just die... they will remain still for ages so that the hero is fooled and walks right past them... at which point the killer grabs their ankle and then keeps fighting.
29. It is possible to drive safely for long periods with your head turned completely away from the road ahead, either in conversation or looking at a map.
30. People brush their teeth before eating breakfast but not afterwards, at which point they run out the door with a piece of toast in their mouth.
31. Aussie accents in American films always sound like a mix of Cockney, South African and New Zealander. And they say things like "Streuth!" and "Blimey!"
32. Women can never find their car keys while being pursued by a killer. Once they do find them, it takes them ages to fumble the keys into the ignition, giving the killer enough time to reach the car and pound on the window.
33. Somehow cars take several turns of the key to start but only when someone is chasing you.
34. Every bad guy knows how to tie really complicated knots... which somehow the good guy manages to untie.
35. When a cat eats a fish, it leaves the skeleton perfectly preserved and intact.
36. Vicious guard dogs can be easily distracted with a piece of steak.
37. Mice can somehow fashion a perfectly semi-circular entrance to their dwelling.
38. Many animals, when they consume alcohol, will take on human drunken characteristics, usually to the sound of a trombone being played.
39. Anytime a person is expecting a bad guy to jump out at them, often they'll sigh in relief when it's just the cat, or the wind, or a tree branch against the window. But as soon as they let their guard down and laugh at their "silliness", they're going to be attacked by the bad guy that really was there after all.
40. When someone puts a baby down to bed, that baby coos and smiles, and then just goes right off to sleep.
41. If someone jumps off a bridge into a river, lake, etcetera, the water will always be deep enough to keep them from getting hurt.
42. Being around a bomb causes time to slow down.
43. It's very easy to fool the security guards at highly top secret government institutions.
44. No matter who you are calling, no matter what time you are making the call, the person you're calling will always answer the phone, usually after only one or two rings. Of course, this assumes you aren't running from a killer while trying to make a call on a cell phone, in which case there is a 100% chance that either the battery will be dead or you won't be able to get a signal.
45. The good guy always has the cooler cell phone.
46. If you chase someone through a park you will never step in dog poop or chewing gum, but you will always step on someone's picnic.
47. No matter how crowded the bar is, there are always extra stools available right in front of a bartender who is just standing there waiting for someone to order.
48. People in movies rarely have to shave, and whenever a guy does shave, he will be interrupted while half finished, and will wipe the remaining shaving cream off with a towel. Of course, even the part he didn't get to shave will be perfectly smooth.
49. When a woman is being pursued by a scary serial killer that she knows is in her house, she will always run upstairs instead of out of the house.
50. When someone has stopped breathing and has no pulse, simply breathing into her mouth twice and looking extremely distressed while screaming "DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!" will bring her back to life immediately.
51. When you turn on the TV, the news will always be on, showing the news item you're interested in.

Steve

[Mr Cosmo]

Great stuff Steve - here's some I thought of in the last 10 minutes...

Women always turn the light on and get undressed by a window without drawing the curtains. They also strip naked and go swimming if they are ever near water.

Women who wear glasses always undergo a personality change when they take them off – and they never need them again! (Have you ever noticed for optician ads – the models wearing the glasses look so obviously that they have never worn glasses in their life)

Husbands always forget wedding anniversaries. (I have been married 35 years and never ever forgotten a single anniversary or birthday!)

Whenever anyone takes drugs they immediately hear “White Rabbit” by Jefferson Airplane in their head.

On TV shows people at parties always dance at parties to really naff elevator music. (Due to copyright problems no doubt.)

When people open curtains in the morning the entire room becomes illuminated – not just the area covered by the window.

People die always just as they are about to reveal the name of a murderer.

Anyone looking through a keyhole always manages to see a girl getting undressed.

Whenever anyone in a film is in the rain – they come indoors and immediately start sneezing and getting a heavy cold.

Whenever a man dresses up as a woman (usually to escape from something) – some man always finds them attractive and makes a pass at them.

Whenever a woman has to dress up as a man (usually as a boy) – no one notices despite the obvious shape problems.

When girls wake up in the morning they are already made up.

A villain will always give full details of all his plans before he is about to kill someone – and of course they walk out of the room and don’t wait to see if the person actually dies.

Whenever the radio announces a psychopath on the loose – you can guarantee he will show up in the next reel.

[Marky B]

Originally Posted by donna dont they just meet in the cafe or the pub hahah

And shout at each other.
Ta Ta
Marky B