Why do they look a the phone

[john audley]

They always have the phone by the bed to answer a call at 3 a.m.
The cars are not filled with fuel and never locked
Cowboys never tie the horse to the rail - just throw the lead of it. Horses stealing is in the dark and never from a street.
Never re-load a six gun that can fire 100 rounds

[Steve Crook]

Originally Posted by Mr Cosmo Husbands always forget wedding anniversaries. (I have been married 35 years and never ever forgotten a single anniversary or birthday!)

In real life, what's the best way to always remember your wedding anniversary and your wife's birthday?

Just forget it once! You'll never forget it again

Steve

[Marky B]

Originally Posted by Steve Crook A few more: 1. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. That will finish in a sex scene. 2. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. 3. If someone says, "I'll be right back", they won't. 4. Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen but always say: "Enter Password Now". 5. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. 6. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. 7. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. 8. Any bullet from a handgun has enough force to throw a full-grown man ten feet back. 9. Characters at a bar or at a restaurant table will always get the attention of a server at the exact moment they need to order. 10. When a gift/present is given, the top is wrapped separately from the rest of the box and it lifts straight off so that there is never any ripping or fumbling with wrapping paper. 11. A chase scene on foot in a city always has a shot of one of the characters running into the street, nearly being hit by a car screeching to a halt at which point the driver flails his arm out the window and yells an expletive. 12. Any time a character in an awful rush confronts another character curious about his predicament, the first one says, "There's no time to explain," and then explains anyway. 13. No matter how slow zombies (or mummies) walk they will always catch up. 14. The bad guy will always throw his gun at you to indicate he has run out of bullets. 15. Everybody when needing a computer can type supper fast and never need to hit the space bar! 16. Computers never freeze or crash, unlike in the real world. 17. The computers have super duper graphics programs which can zoom into blurs in fotos to make them super clear! 18. The best way to get laid is to put on some slow jazz music. 19. Every time the "hero" is sneaking into the bad guy's room, checking secret files on the computer: - 1a. The password is already typed in. - 1b. The password is very simple. - 2. There appears a very slow bar saying "copying", "deleting" or "printing" and it is finished just before the bad guy, the security guard or the mexican cleaner comes in. - 3. In addition to your non-booting computer, they are also turned off in a flash. - 4. All the characters, even the blonde bimbo's put in to lure us to the cinema, became all-knowing super-mega-nerds once behind a computer. They always know what to do and how to avoid things. 20. Text appearing on a computer monitor appears letter by letter and making a sound as if it was produced by a typewriter. 21. You can find whatever you want on the net in a matter of seconds. 22. If in a battle scene a bad guy actually manages to shoot a good guy, the good guy's friend has the time to listen to his friend's dying speech. Once dead, the friend stands up and shoots the correct bad guy (amongst a whole host of bad guys). The bad guy has apparently been sitting around just waiting to be shot!! 23. No Australian movie is complete without one of: - 1. A Kangaroo. - 2. A Boomerang. - 3. Ayers Rock. - 4. A Koala. - 5. All of the above. 24. When gunfire erupts in public places and cops respond instantly to it, they're usally killed by the first shots. 25. When gunfire erupts in public, where there are no cops, they take forever to arrive, but they can still chase the gunmen. 26. Cats always make a noise. If someone is creeping into a house and is momentarily scared by a cat, it always has to meow before running off. 27. Detectives can watch a drug deal (carried out furtively in a shop doorway) go down from a distance of five yards away by the simple expedient of sitting in a car with a newspaper raised to eye level. 28. Serial killers never just die... they will remain still for ages so that the hero is fooled and walks right past them... at which point the killer grabs their ankle and then keeps fighting. 29. It is possible to drive safely for long periods with your head turned completely away from the road ahead, either in conversation or looking at a map. 30. People brush their teeth before eating breakfast but not afterwards, at which point they run out the door with a piece of toast in their mouth. 31. Aussie accents in American films always sound like a mix of Cockney, South African and New Zealander. And they say things like "Streuth!" and "Blimey!" 32. Women can never find their car keys while being pursued by a killer. Once they do find them, it takes them ages to fumble the keys into the ignition, giving the killer enough time to reach the car and pound on the window. 33. Somehow cars take several turns of the key to start but only when someone is chasing you. 34. Every bad guy knows how to tie really complicated knots... which somehow the good guy manages to untie. 35. When a cat eats a fish, it leaves the skeleton perfectly preserved and intact. 36. Vicious guard dogs can be easily distracted with a piece of steak. 37. Mice can somehow fashion a perfectly semi-circular entrance to their dwelling. 38. Many animals, when they consume alcohol, will take on human drunken characteristics, usually to the sound of a trombone being played. 39. Anytime a person is expecting a bad guy to jump out at them, often they'll sigh in relief when it's just the cat, or the wind, or a tree branch against the window. But as soon as they let their guard down and laugh at their "silliness", they're going to be attacked by the bad guy that really was there after all. 40. When someone puts a baby down to bed, that baby coos and smiles, and then just goes right off to sleep. 41. If someone jumps off a bridge into a river, lake, etcetera, the water will always be deep enough to keep them from getting hurt. 42. Being around a bomb causes time to slow down. 43. It's very easy to fool the security guards at highly top secret government institutions. 44. No matter who you are calling, no matter what time you are making the call, the person you're calling will always answer the phone, usually after only one or two rings. Of course, this assumes you aren't running from a killer while trying to make a call on a cell phone, in which case there is a 100% chance that either the battery will be dead or you won't be able to get a signal. 45. The good guy always has the cooler cell phone. 46. If you chase someone through a park you will never step in dog poop or chewing gum, but you will always step on someone's picnic. 47. No matter how crowded the bar is, there are always extra stools available right in front of a bartender who is just standing there waiting for someone to order. 48. People in movies rarely have to shave, and whenever a guy does shave, he will be interrupted while half finished, and will wipe the remaining shaving cream off with a towel. Of course, even the part he didn't get to shave will be perfectly smooth. 49. When a woman is being pursued by a scary serial killer that she knows is in her house, she will always run upstairs instead of out of the house. 50. When someone has stopped breathing and has no pulse, simply breathing into her mouth twice and looking extremely distressed while screaming "DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!" will bring her back to life immediately. 51. When you turn on the TV, the news will always be on, showing the news item you're interested in. Steve

And no matter where the building is in Paris,the Eiffel Tower can always be seen in a window.
Ta Ta
Marky B

[Steve Crook]

Originally Posted by Mr Cosmo When people open curtains in the morning the entire room becomes illuminated – not just the area covered by the window.

Not just the entire room, but there's a source of light suddenly illuminating their back while they're still facing the window. It's the clever way that light can go round corners in movies

Similarly, when you turn a lamp on or off in the movies, there's always a short delay before the room is illuminated or goes dark. Maybe light travels slower in Hollywood

Steve

[donna]

I love when a woman is trying to hide with new disguise ,she dyes and cuts her hair herself and it turns out fantastic.

[donna]

usually with garden type shears too.

[Mr Cosmo]

Like Deborah Kerr in KING SOLOMONS MINES

[Owlett]

Doors are often and annoyingly left open when a character leaves the scene.

Further to the fitting bed sheets point - why after making love, does a female character tug the bedclothes around her form anyway? Does this behaviour prevail in any way in real life? What part of her anatomy would she wish to conceal from her partner that he hasn't already seen/felt/weighed?

Why are rooms with venetian blinds usually smokey?

Why do so many cars 'jump' when the character parks and gets out in a hurry? Is it against filming policy to find 'neutral' or 'park' before switching the engine off?

How is it that a short run and jump into cover will be an escape from anything from automatic fire to an atomic bomb (Predator).

[donna]

the saloon girls with a heart of gold , the cowboy with like a small blanket on the back of his saddle and nothing else

[jaycad]

in an aggressive argument the character on the receiving end of the tirade will focus on the right eye,then the left eye,then the right eye,then the left eye of the character who is giving the abuse without butting in to defend themselves until the tirade is over! also when a parent has had an argument with their child,the child always has the last word and storms out just as the parent calls out their name in a simpering apologetic manner!!

[donna]

IM reading through all these and giggling theyre brilliant

[stevie boy]

what about Rita in Coronation Street. She will say to someone how is Emily,Gail,Eileen?? give her my regards, why does'nt the the lazy old bag go across and knock the door.??

[batman]

Originally Posted by jaycad when a parent has had an argument with their child,the child always has the last word and storms out just as the parent calls out their name in a simpering apologetic manner!!

Not in my house, ..... although Mrs Bat will tell it differently.

[Mr Cosmo]

Just thought of another one - two characters are in a room and one has something important to say so he / she turns to face the camera with his / her back to the person being talked to and starts saying something dramatic - presumably so we get reactions of both actors - but of course in ife - how many of you turn your back on someone your talking to. (Russell Harty put your hand down!)

[batman]

Originally Posted by Mr Cosmo how many of you turn your back on someone your talking to

In my job ..... never!