You, the director

[DB7]

This might appear a bit random but any answers will be a most helpful contribution to a little project.



If you were a director, what would you consider good, acceptable and bad occurrences. For example:

Good: You win an Oscar.

Acceptable: Break even at the box-office.

Bad: The producer signs up Ross Kemp.



The more humourous the better!

[Steve Crook]

name='DB7']This might appear a bit random but any answers will be a most helpful contribution to a little project.



If you were a director, what would you consider good, acceptable and bad occurrences. For example:

Good: You win an Oscar.

Acceptable: Break even at the box-office.

Bad: The producer signs up Ross Kemp.



The more humourous the better!

Good: You realise your name is Michael Powell and your partner's name is Emeric Pressburger

Acceptable: The government tries to interfere with the films you want to make. But you tell them to go away

Bad: Nothing very bad. The people funding you think they get a say in the films that you make but you ignore them as well



Ah, those heady days of the 1940s



Steve

[penfold]

Good: Critics detect the Powell and Pressburger influences



Acceptable: Critics detect the Ken Russell influences



Bad: Critics detect Michael Winner influences.....

[Moor Larkin]

Good: I write my own script......



Acceptable: I have a script........



Bad: I'm so good, I decide I'll make it up as I go along.........

[clitheroekid]

Good: At last! recognition within the industry and am asked to direct a big-budget epic-style spectacular, even asked to choose my own cast and crew.



Acceptable: Bruce Willis has pleaded to be in it (but has promised to donate his fee to charity)



Bad: My alarm clock goes off

[Carmel]

Good...im in it

Acceptable...i pick my leading man yum yum

Bad...im not in it

[Joenoir]

Good: I've been chosen to direct a remake of The Green Man



Acceptable: It is going to be an American co-production



Bad: John Travolta has already been signed to play The Green Man.....

[D Cairns]

Well, I *am* a director...



Good: somebody funds my first feature.

Acceptable: somebody buys another script from me.

Bad: no work for me, but Michael Winterbottom/Summerbottom/Autumnbottom makes another thirty nothingish films.



OR



Good: they let me make the film the way I think it shoudl be made, while giving me useful help and advice

Acceptable: the advice is a mixture of good and bad and some of it I'm forced to go with.

Bad: Fundamental bad choices are imposed on the film (the only FUNDAMENTAL things are script, even Ross kemp is survivable).



I've had the latter happen on TV projects. Maybe somebody will realise that the reason I make good shorts and iffy TV is that I get to make the choices on the shorts!

[samkydd]

Good: I'm given carte blanche to do it my way.



Acceptable: The top two stars in the film have only agreed to do it because they think that I'm going to let them do it their way.



Bad: I'm so overwhelmed by the artistic license granted to me that I make a complete pig's ear of the whole thing, and after two weeks shooting they sack me and give it to Michael Winner, who then wins an Oscar with it!

[penfold]

Good: I get the green light for my script on Harold Daniell http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...oldDaniell.jpg



Acceptable; A US studio wants to invest into it and distribute it...



Bad; They insist on Tom Cruise, not Bob Hoskins....

[D Cairns]

Here's a true-life one from my own past:

Good: the script attracts half a million quid Scottish Arts Council-administered lottery money.

Acceptable: the Film Council like it, but want me to shoot a test to prove I'm the right director.

Bad: the producers panic at this, fire me, are unable to find another director and the lottery money is eventually withdrawn.

Fortunately I got a paid short at that time to distract me, (good) and it went on to win prizes (better) and get me free trips to festivals around the world (best).

[Aaryk Noctivagus]

Good: I like the finished movie.

Acceptable: The public like the finished movie.

Bad: The studio likes the finished movie.

[Aaryk Noctivagus]

name='Carmel']Good...im in it

Acceptable...i pick my leading man yum yum

Bad...im not in it

I'll have to find you a part in my movie if it ever gets made - lol.

[Joenoir]

name='Aaryk Noctivagus']I'll have to find you a part in my movie if it ever gets made - lol.

Yes, but who's going to be the leading man?!

[Aaryk Noctivagus]

name='Joenoir']Yes, but who's going to be the leading man?!

I'm not talking leads. Those would be professionals, if the thing ever gets going. Besides, I don't think Carmel would want to play the roll which is for the leading lady in my movie - and I wouldn't wish to Direct a friend in that role either. I'm a cruel writer to my characters.



I'll cast Joenoir as the monster

[David Brent]

GOOD - I have all the loveliest and sexiest actresses in the world lining up, ever eager to use my casting couch to get a part, any part, in my next film.



ACCEPTABLE - I get given free airline upgrades, overseas holidays, meals at the best restaurants, FA Cup Final tickets, ect.. just because I am famous.



BAD - Then I wake up.



Dave.

[batman]

name='Aaryk Noctivagus']I'm not talking leads. Those would be professionals, if the thing ever gets going.

I still have my Equity card!



Meanwhile ...



Good - I get to spend a lot of someone else's money having a good time



Acceptable - I don't get to cast myself opposite Carmel, but manage to get Samantha Bond instead



Bad - the money finds out that I'm a crap director after the first day and sack me!



Bats.

[moonfleet]

Good: I've persuaded the producer(s) with my first (but they don't know it ) view of the script.



Acceptable: The story took place in South Pole, but for a budget matter, the only Studio's availibly locations are in Geneva ( Switzerland).



Bad: To agreement with some " strange & obscure" Company, John Travolta and Tom Cruise have to be in the film.



Very Good: Being in Switzerland, I do not put my money in an anonymous "coffre-fort"....but run away to a Mexican palace, or something like this .....



Moon.

[Sgt Sunshine]

So I'm the director..............well........

Good: Billie Piper agrees to do "full frontal" in my next film

Acceptable: She'll go topless only (not like the 70's is it)

Bad: This "Billie" turns out to be a man...........

Sgt S

[torinfan]

Good: extracting an impossible performance from an egotistical actor



Acceptable: getting to write my own script



Bad: always working with the worst actors in the business