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#16 |
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I have a great Englishman - Irishman - Scotsman joke Donna that actually occurred in a dream but I have already suffered stick on this site for being politically non PC! So I had better avoid it.
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British Films for British Culture 'Being Educated Restricts you a bit me old Stan!' |
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#17 |
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Moderator
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To drift back on topic - do you remember the 'Spare a thought for your projectionist, Reg, who - unlike you - can't enjoy a cool, refreshing carton of Kia-Ora (etc...)' advert which was voiced - as I recall - by Leonard Rossiter?
I think it showed Reg, in silhouetted profile, locked in the projection booth. Then suddenly a little 'door' opened in the screen and Reg reached down and grabbed the Kia-Ora from the pack shot... Smudge
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Welcome to my house. Enter freely, and of your own will... |
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#18 | |
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Senior Member
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Quote:
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#19 | |
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Moderator
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Quote:
With Harriet Broon, Alastair Broon and all the other Broons. "Jings", "Crivens" Steve |
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#20 | |
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Senior Member
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Quote:
.Ta Ta marky B ![]()
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I once shot an elephant in my pyjamas - how he got in my pyjamas,I'll never know |
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#22 | |
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Senior Member
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Quote:
The Joke There was an Irishman an Englishman and a Scot flying an RAF bomber over the Pacific in WW2, lost and out of fuel so the plane crashes but they eject into a dingy. Paddle for days with poor Paddy terribly injured so that he is paraplegic. Eventually they come across this small island that can sustain them and they stay there for years without help or hope. But, everything is to hand fruit fish etc. They see jets flying overhead and wonder! Paddy is terribly depressed and is suicidal but the Scot and the Englishman care for him totally and do all the work whilst Paddy just stays in one place doing miner tasks. They are very worried about him. One day he is scratching around on the beach sitting in the sun when he finds a lamp and so rubbing it up comes a genie! 'What are your three wishes oh master? Said the genie. Paddy called over the other two with excitement and told them that this vision had given him three wishes. They said choose well old friend. Paddy said to the Genie 'these two fellows have been my saviors and want two wishes for them. So the Englishman said; I would like to be a famous handsome actor in leading films with leading ladies' 'Granted' said the genie and the Englishman disappeared. The Scot said 'I would like to be a millionaire and have a large house in the South of France' and the genie granted to him this wish and he disappeared. So there was Paddy sitting in the sand all alone and hopeless and the genie said 'well, my little Irishman and what would you like for your third and final wish? and Paddy replied; 'Can I have a wheelchair ![]() ![]()
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British Films for British Culture 'Being Educated Restricts you a bit me old Stan!' |
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