samkydd

As I was sorting out the usual items for the charity bag collection, which they never bother collecting anyway, so you end up taking it yourself to any charity shop apart from the one whose logo is on the bag. So you have to turn the bag inside out to disguise this but it’s so thin that you can still see the logo, albeit reversed.

Apart from the usual discardments; ties that people bought you for Christmas with Homer Simpson dressed as Santa Claus on that you wore just the once on Christmas morning and later buried it beneath the multitude of socks in the chest of drawers, the Regatta fleece that smelled like a tramp’s underpants even when new and now looks like a cheap bath mat that the cat’s had a go at, with a zip down the front, the cufflinks set with Homer Simpson dressed as Santa Claus again and you never wear cuff links anyway because you don’t know if you cut the buttons off your shirt cuffs to accommodate them, or pay extra for shirts with extra holes in the cuffs specifically for cuff links, the tasteful stripy shirts that your mother-in-law buys you each Christmas and birthday from shirts-that-make-you-look-like-a-fatty.com , the bright red Nylon ski jumper with a picture of Homer Simpson dressed as Santa Claus and wearing skis on the front which has lined the cat’s basket since the day you received it, the endless books that people have given you because they thought you might enjoy them and you instantly knew you wouldn’t; Does My Bum Look Big in This, 1001 Pub Jokes, 1001 Golfing Jokes, 1001 Holiday Jokes, 1001 Carpet Cleaner Jokes, Absolutely Fabulous – The Scripts Series 1, Russ Abbott Show Annual 1985, Laughter With Tarby – Jimmy Tarbuck, Bullseye Annual 1988 – Jim Bowen, Golfing Laughter With Tarby – Jimmy Tarbuck, My Life With Laughter- Jimmy Tarbuck, Laughter With Les Dennis and you end up buying another bookcase just to store them in, and the unopened after shave gift set Midnight in Mombassa for people who really want to smell like a lavatory air freshener, and I also started to root through cassettes, CDs and DVDs as well this time.

The cassettes were easy to discard, most were 80s bands who, like the tapes themselves haven’t stood the test of time; Tears For Fears, Big Country, The Thomson Twins, Human League etc. CD discarding takes more of an effort because anyone brought up in the days of vinyl and reel to reel tape like me still regards the magic silver disc as something of a new invention even though I saw my first one in 1984 “…and they’ll never scratch you know, you can put a hot tea pot on them as well!”

Well the con CDs free with the newspapers are first to go into the sack, you know the ones that aren’t the original recordings from the master tape they’re just inferior live recordings and sound like they were taped by someone standing at the back of the auditorium with a Sony portable dictaphone. Other CDs, well a lot of compilations that you bought when bored at the motorway service area but you’re now completely sick to the back teeth of Gerry Rafferty’s Baker Street, Boston’s More Than a Feeling, and Tom Robinson’s 2-4-6-8 Motorway and of course Golden Earring’s Radar Love and you’d rather eat your own feet than listen to Bachman Turner Overdrive’s You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet again. Next there’s the ones that you bought in the sales when it was three for the price of two, but you only found two that you really liked and as you had to have the third you naturally chose a duffer.

A new concept for me is giving away DVDs to a charity shop, they're still a thing of wonder to me. They’ve had everybody’s videotapes, but the DVD shelf still looks decidedly understocked and what they have is usually about twenty copies of the same episodes of Friends and maybe one or two Chuck Norris or Steven Seagal films, six copies of Miss Congeniality and a couple of Vic Reeves Big Night Out!

So to cut a long story short, too late, if you had to put six DVDs into the charity shop sack, which six would you sacrifice (excluding duplicate copies and newspaper freebies) and why?

"...the chairman of Littlewoods stores made a Keynote speech!"

Carmel

Hi i recently gave to the charity shop and the DVD's i gave were,

The Reeker, what a load of rubbish
Progeney
devil's child
Skeleton in the closet

I bought these and wondered what the hell was watching they were complete Rubbish so it was either the charity shop or the bin so i thought charity shop someone else might like them. Another i forgot to throw in but will be going is Witness with Susan George and Mark Lester i bought this a while ago thinking it might be good as i like these 2 actors but was it awful, although some thinks its great so it will be going in the next bag.

batman

quote - Boston’s More Than a Feeling, and Tom Robinson’s 2-4-6-8 Motorway and of course Golden Earring’s Radar Love and you’d rather eat your own feet than listen to Bachman Turner Overdrive’s You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet again. - quote



In three lines you have just trashed 4 of my favourite songs.

Bats.

"Boom boom a baby .... Banham Zoo .... Banana pants! Hahahaha"

DB7

I've been quite lucky in that friends and family have now stopped buying me surprise films and instead look what titles are bookmarked on my Amazon watchlist.

The last two 'presents' despatched to the charidee shop were The Mexican (just awful) and Pearl Harbor (even worse than The Mexican!).

samkydd

I was forced to go to the cinema to see Pearl Harbour, what a waste of electricity screening that film was!
I used to like them as well but they've been done to death on compilation albums.

"...the chairman of Littlewoods stores made a Keynote speech!"

batman

DVDs to get rid of .....

TARZAN with Bo Derek - a present 'cos I like 'Tarzan' films (awful load of old crap)
THE SAINT with Val Kilmer - a present 'cos I am a 'Saint' fan (absolute crap)
HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES with Pete n Dud - a present 'cos I am a Holmes fan (unwatchable crap)
MORONS FROM OUTER SPACE with Smith n Jones - have never worked out why I was given this (???)
WONDERLAND with Shirley Henderson - a present 'cos I like Shirley Henderson (pretentious crap)
THE MUSKETEER with Tim Roth - a presnt 'cos I like 'Musketeer' films - (boring overblown crap)

Bats.

"Boom boom a baby .... Banham Zoo .... Banana pants! Hahahaha"

samkydd

I wasted another evening at the flicks watching The Saint! An episode of Anglia TV's Romper Room was more entertaining!

I wonder if you could adapt a clay pigeon machine to take CDs, DVDs, and AOL CD Roms? You'd make an absolute fortune, and the charity shops would thank you for it!

"...the chairman of Littlewoods stores made a Keynote speech!"

DB7

I used to do that as a kid. Stick my hated vinyl lps down the garden and then shoot them to pieces with an air rifle. A paint stripping gun is also handy for creating ashtrays.....

batman

I was once on Romper Room .... Miss Rosalyn, where are you now?

Bats.

"Boom boom a baby .... Banham Zoo .... Banana pants! Hahahaha"

samkydd

"Rompster, stomper, domper do, tell me tell me tell me do!"

Miss Rosalun, blass me bor she ha' a gret ole pair of thighs on har!

"...the chairman of Littlewoods stores made a Keynote speech!"

batman

Yuh shooda sin 'em at wayst huyt bor ... croikey! Tha bit oi enjoyd thu moost wus bein in that there cahdbord pleece cah ... cor tha wus fun.

Bats.

"Boom boom a baby .... Banham Zoo .... Banana pants! Hahahaha"