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  • #61
    Idiot Sighting #1

    When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.

    We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver-side door.

    As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

    "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!"

    His reply, "I know, I already got that side."


    Idiot Sighting #2

    I was at the airport checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"

    To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

    He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

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    • #62
      Seen on a T-shirt:

      There are 10 types of people in the world - those who get binary and those who don't

      Comment


      • #63
        A preacher, newly called to a small country town, needed to mail a letter. Passing a young boy on the street, the pastor asked where he could find the post office.

        After getting his answer, the minister thanked the boy and said, "If you'll come to the community church this evening, you can hear me tell everyone how to get to heaven."

        "I don't know, sir," the boy replied. "You don't even know how to get to the post office."

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        • #64
          Q What's the difference between a duck?
          A One of its legs is both the same.

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          • #65
            A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle, the phone rang, so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer it.

            "It's the Minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she said to him, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

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            • #66
              Bob was a doorman at a nightclub and one evening at their flat his little daughter answered the door to a caller.
              "Is your daddy in please?"
              "No, he's out bouncing"/

              Comment


              • #67
                A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan.

                They open the casket to find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for ten more years and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same church, and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.

                As they are walking the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"

                Comment


                • #68
                  A couple of young children are at day care one day when one of the little girls approaches Tommy and says, "Hey, Tommy, wanna play house?"

                  "Sure! What do you want me to do?" he asks.

                  The little girl replies, "I want you to communicate your feelings."

                  "Communicate my feelings?" questions a bewildered Tommy. "I have no idea what that means..."

                  The little girl says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."

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                  • #69
                    How many Irish men does it take to change a light bulb... 5...as 1 stands on a stool the other 4 turn him

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                    • #70
                      Qu. Why did the pervert cross the road... Ans. Because he was stuck inside the chicken!

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